Hogwarts Gazette - Issue 2 - 9th August 2007

[Alexis Bay]

It seems that the school werewolves are recruiting more innocent victims to their packs. The emo hottie Olli Carter is the recent victim of werewolf biting. Carter; the pretty boy Slytherin has been caught in the kitchens taking chunks out of raw blooded meats and attacking innocent first years with his anger. Olli can thank Kitiara Tuck for turning him into such a terrible creature, by biting him whilst in werewolf form. This has been yet another heavy blow for Carter. He recently dumped his desperate poser girlfriend Alana Lestrange, when he found out that she had been cheating on him with Beau.
Even in human form werewolves are dangerous creatures. If you are approached by a human form werewolf, you are advised to attack them immediately. Better safe than sorry eh? I am amazed that Headmistress Dagner lets these beasts stay at Hogwarts. Is the safety of students not thought about when it comes to these beasts?
Werewolves at Hogwarts include Kitiara Tuck, Iggy Talbain, Roxas Tolly (Gryffindors), Simon Alvin & Olli Carter (Slytherins).

The gossip column was allowed to sneak into the professors lounge and get a sneak peak at the new list of prefects, head boys, and head girls. We can reveal that there are three werewolves are on the list. Kitiara Tuck will take the position of head girl from Billie Joe, of course she has nothing to live up to. Billie Joe acted just like a werewolf anyway. Gryffindor girl boy prefect will be taken by Iggy Talbain. The former Gryffindor prefect Leo Bryant didn't do a bad job, so Iggy will have allot of work to do. But do you really expect a werewolf to work? Simon Alvin will retain his position as Slytherin boy prefect. Unfortunately i will be forced to work among these freaks, as i Alexis Bay will again be Slytherin Prefect next year. I think that it is terrible that Headmistress is putting the lives of students in danger, by giving prefect positions out to freaks. Has the Hogwarts staff gone mad? It seems we will soon be taught by dragons!
What do you think about werewolves being allowed at Hogwarts? Send me an owl (post in this thread) and your views may appear in next week's gossip section!


Speaking of Werewolves Kitiara Tuck & Iggy Talbain seem to be spending allot of time together at Sol Island. Could we soon expect cubs from these werewolves? The two will both be taking the same Head Girl and Prefect positions as Leo Bryant and Billie Joe Hardings next year. Will Hogwarts be seeing the same situation as Billie and Leo at the end of this year?

Life has been tough for Billie Joe and Leo Bryant lately. As you all know Billie Joe Hardings from Slytherin is pregnant with triplets, which she and Leo have decided to name after broomsticks 'Nimbus, Moontrimmer and Twigger'. A close friend of Billie Joe let it slip that she is having a magical pregnancy, which explains why she is fit to burst any moment now. Magical pregnancy's are very rare, they only last for three months, but are extremely painful. Nimbus, Moontrimmer and Twigger just can't wait to escape! Of course i couldn't agree with them more - they are stuck in the worst person ever!
All of us at the Gossip column are wondering what houses the twins will be placed in. It's quite rare that Gryffindors and Slytherins have kids together. I feel sorry for the kids if they end up like Billie Joe. It is rumored that she will no longer stay an extra year and Hogwarts and will instead stay at her new small home in Placidus Village, to 'care' for her little horrors.

The gossip column has been allowed exclusive access at Billie Joe and Leo's wedding. We promise to bring you all the gossip from this low budget wedding, which is being held in the forbidden forest, so Billie and Leo can be among their werewolf friends. News from other students reveals that Billie will be wearing a muggle tracksuit to the wedding, so that she can show off her chavvy muggle loving side. Leo on the other hand will be wearing his Gryffindor robes, as the family can not afford to buy a suit. Aw at least they are putting the kids first.

Teacher Tré Padget seems to have invented a new style of detentions. Apparently the student is hung from their ankles using the levicorpus & forced to stay hung overnight. The detentions are usually held in the forbidden forest, as it adds to the atmosphere. Mr Padget - who is currently going out with Headmistress Dagner - tried it out on a Slytherin for simply attacking a muggle drum-kit. Apparently the new style of detentions is still in BETA testing, but is believed to be brought in some time after Christmas.

If you have any comments please owl them to me (post below). If you want to send any gossip to me owl it to me (PM it please)

((Thank you to everyone that appeared! Remember that this is all a joke & is not meant out of character. ))

[Jake Newman]

I found this highly amusing, and i'm not that new to the site either. I really enjoyed it, can't wait for the future Gazetts to come. They will be funny i hope ^_^

[Jason Newman]

Dude you need to get your facts correct.....

[wiL Francis]

Yet another exelent colomn, and I'm proud to be taking the lead in erradicating the pest problem we have in Hogwarts. I hope there won't be any of the vermins cubs to deal with either.

[Jason Newman]

wilfrancis said:

Yet another exelent colomn, and I'm proud to be taking the lead in erradicating the pest problem we have in Hogwarts. I hope there won't be any of the vermins cubs to deal with either.

Aww that's mean. What is wrong with Kit and co?

[wiL Francis]

Hmmm, two bitings, one death, the vermin is spreading like a virus. They are vermin, like rats, but more dangerous. Even the picture in the article shows how rat like they are.

[Christopher Anthony Brian]

Your pathetic!

[Iggy Talbain]

Olli started it he attacked the us during a full moon it was self defense. He got what was coming for him. and for the other werewolves. its not their fault that they're werewolves either all attacks have been involuntary. If they were in control non of this would have happened and in their attempts to get the wolfsbane potion they get then stupid people like Olli come along and stuff happens.

[Headmistress Dagner]

It's funny in some ways, but half of it false. Some of it is based on truth, and little bits true. But it is funny. I remember Gabby's Gossip on Magikal World. This is just like that. I miss Magikal. Any Magikal Members on here? Hells rocks!

[Luke Taylor]

I loved the post and I'm a member of Magikal but I haven't seen Gabby's Gossip yet. I had Hells add me on msn the other day, its great that she's back now.

[Leo Bryant]

I will NOT be wearing the Gryffindor robes!!!!!

-_-"

[wiL Francis]

Of course you wont, you'll just wear them under a tracksuit

[Leo Bryant]

i really want to kill you right now

[wiL Francis]

*skips around just out of casting range* lalalalala, you know you wanna

[Billie Joe Bryant]

THEY AREN'T GONNA BE CALLED NIMBUS MOONTRIMMER AND TWIGGER!! And I am NOT wearing a tracksuit!