The Leonardo issue;;
So, whilst people have died and others have been in tremendous pain, our dear ol' Leonardo Millhouse has been off, travelling and getting a taste for Asian and European hookers, and getting into all sorts of compromising situations, usually found in the bizarre corners of Amsterdam.
I'm sorry. I mean, recruiting Wizards to the Order Of The Phoenix.
As if boys and girls, as if.
Besides being a nosey little vampire, your beloved Dakota has all sorts of friends around the globe, 64 years of looking this great allows me to jet set around the word with no worries.
And I can tell you-for a fact- that Leon has been lying to you all.
He's happily married, loving his wife, Luna Sentana. Hang on, are they married yet? We know that have a kid, but after you hear what Leon's been up to, you'll be doubting their relationship too.

You know how Leonardo and Morbius both went at the same time. There is a logical- and shocking- reason for why that is. And you won't believe this, I know you won't. But it's true.
So lets go through the roller coaster of a year that the Deputy Head is going through.
First of all, that first attack on Leon by Morbius? More like a very violent, and kinky, sexual encounter. Girls. Morbius is into whips and chains.
The absolute player's been seen getting up close and personal with the innocent Headmistress Dagner, honestly, not even a minute into the castle and he's making a disgrace of himself.

It's a shocker what people will do. Don't know what I'm talking about?
I'm talking about Leonardo's new appetites. He's into bizarre and strange things. Things I feel I can't even write. But I shall, because I love you all.
He tried paying me to NOT write this. But I refused. I shall not be bought over (Though, he could have been hinting to pay for sex, we all know he'd do it).
And Luna, baby, I'm sorry to tell you this. But Leonardo's been buying over boys and girls, all ages. Ranging from VERY young to VERY old.
Hell. Ranging from human, to the more furry species. Watch out Kitiara.
I told you it was bad. And worst of all, in his little scandal, Alexis Bay has been known to meet up with him.
I guess he sold off his standards for some Japanese school girl.

So, Order members, next lecture he gives you, bout the world and saving it. Remember my words.
You really want his world?

The smaller (And less disturbing) issues;;
Kitiara Tuck has been seen going in and out of Leo Bryants' house.
To see her BFFL, Billie? Nope.
I can't say exactly whats been happening. But I've heard that she goes in, fully dressed. And come out, forgetting some articles of clothing. When Billie's out.
It seems the Bryant clan aren't as close-knit as we thought.

Following my last note of Hogwarts Vampire Mafia, we know of the Bryant twins, little baby Georgia and Gerard, and we know of the newer unborn child- nicknamed 'devil spawn' at the moment by less loving outsiders. Though, it's rumours to be called Azure Phoenix Bryant by the parents
But they have another child now. Only, this one's different to the twins, and it manages to be more special than Azure.
This one's only 8 years younger than Billie!
No. Billie DID NOT give birth when she was 8.
See, Leo Bryant killed a girls family, leaving an abused, muggle Jane alive. Though, Jane was near death. So what does he do?
Technically, he killed her. So. He bites Jane and brings her back to the family.
But Billie is NOT happy. It turns out that our favourite Satan mother is uber insecure and See's the whole biting thing as a symbol of ownership. And you know how some cultures have more than one wife to a man? Well. Billie See's it like that, but she ain't happy about it.
Jesus Christ Billie. The girls ELEVEN. Whats going to happen?! Really?! Leo's not like Leonardo!
So, there's a newborn eleven year old girl, who used to be called Jane. But Jane's not Jane anymore. Jane is Lola Rose.
If Billie had her way, Lola Rose would be proper dead by now.
The married couple have been arguing about it a lot. When they said 'til death do we part', they forgot how long it can be.

On the last story, the murderer of Renne Hardings (RIP) needs to watch out. Just saying.